Who am I? This is something I question quite often. I am Lisa J. Clark, parent, sibling, daughter, friend, employee, student, nurse, taxi, ATM, short order cook, mediator and probably a multitude of other things that could take up most of this page. To put it more simply I am just another human on this planet trying to make the right choices in life to take care of my family and keep living another day. That is the goal, correct?
I live in unincorporated King County in a home with my family. It’s not exactly the city, but according to my zip code I live in Renton. I haven’t always lived in Renton. About 6 years ago, I felt my life needed a change of direction. I needed a new path, the one I was on had come to an intersection to go right or left. I chose left, or westward and it was very empowering for me. I had never felt more in control of my own destiny than at that point in my life. I had always done what was expected of me. For once I did something for myself. I felt it was for the betterment of everyone, at least the ones I cared about. I have no regrets in my decision.
As the story goes, I grew up in a small town in the Yakima Valley. I went to school in Naches, but I lived in Gleed, a small town 7 miles east of Naches. That is where I spent my childhood and teen years. I stayed in the same area until 2003 when I packed up to move out west shortly after ending a 10-year marriage. I spend most of my time being a parent. Up until a year ago my world consisted of working full-time and raising my 3 kids with my current spouse.
February of 2008 my boss asked me to take over the bookkeeping duties in addition to marketing to help cut costs during the bad economy. He told me that he thought it was something I would be good at even though I didn’t have any real experience. Sadly, my boss suddenly died almost a year ago and the company more or less spiraled down. During the initial decline of the company and cuts in hours, I decided to take courses to learn more in the field my boss had encouraged me to try. I currently work part-time for another small company doing about the same job duties I was doing before and taking classes to get a degree in accounting. I chose GRCC based on the programs and proximity to my home. So far I enjoy my classes immensely and have learned a lot during the time I have been attending. I hope to finish and graduate by 2012, which is also the year my son will graduate from high school. I hope this helps me secure a better career that will give me the opportunity to pay for my children’s college educations. I also hope this will provide opportunities to travel and see places in the world I have only dreamed of visiting.
I have never really had the chance to develop or expand on any personal hobbies. I spend most of my time each day taking care of others and trying to get what needs to be done finished each day and I have neglected my own personal time. I have always had the attitude that as long as I am doing something to help my family, that is the only personal interest or hobby I need. It is my responsibility and duty as a parent. This is my story.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I suck...
Time passes...I forget about blogging. I have so much to say and never any time. Christmas was great. Even though the impending doom of my birthday is looming I am feeling pretty good. I am trying to get over all the reasons to hate my birthday.
1. I am getting old.
2. I never really ever had much celebration of the day. My family never made a very big deal about it and I guess I never feel its important enough for anyone to really care.
3. I am getting old.
4. Jan. 6th 1999 my grandfather died. I don't remember much but I remember that. He had a massive stroke and starved to death. Living wills are great but that part of one is horrible. The funeral director insisted the funeral be on my birthday the 11th...my family said no way (my cousin shares my birthday too) and instead had the funeral on the 12th...so really the thought was there but it doesn't make the memory go away.
5. I am getting old.
6. The last company I worked for had birthday celebrations for all of the employees. Somehow mine was forgotten every year. One year it was remembered BUT it snowed and no one came to work.
7. I am getting old.
8. I think I see wrinkles, I dye my hair before it grows out to make sure I never see gray.
9. Last year my boss died the day after my birthday. Same day that my grandpas funeral 10 years to the day...hows that for an oddity? I guess at least it wasn't "on" my birthday but well...I wish he were still alive none the less.
10. Well, I just dislike it. It reminds me that I am getting old. I really should be grateful to see another birthday. My family has made efforts the last few years to make it a nice day. I appreciate it I really do. I know it could always be worse. Maybe that is my fear, that it will be worse. I am just crossing my fingers that no one dies next month. So January, please be nice to me. I have always been fond of you.
I will try to blog about my past year later...if I remember!
1. I am getting old.
2. I never really ever had much celebration of the day. My family never made a very big deal about it and I guess I never feel its important enough for anyone to really care.
3. I am getting old.
4. Jan. 6th 1999 my grandfather died. I don't remember much but I remember that. He had a massive stroke and starved to death. Living wills are great but that part of one is horrible. The funeral director insisted the funeral be on my birthday the 11th...my family said no way (my cousin shares my birthday too) and instead had the funeral on the 12th...so really the thought was there but it doesn't make the memory go away.
5. I am getting old.
6. The last company I worked for had birthday celebrations for all of the employees. Somehow mine was forgotten every year. One year it was remembered BUT it snowed and no one came to work.
7. I am getting old.
8. I think I see wrinkles, I dye my hair before it grows out to make sure I never see gray.
9. Last year my boss died the day after my birthday. Same day that my grandpas funeral 10 years to the day...hows that for an oddity? I guess at least it wasn't "on" my birthday but well...I wish he were still alive none the less.
10. Well, I just dislike it. It reminds me that I am getting old. I really should be grateful to see another birthday. My family has made efforts the last few years to make it a nice day. I appreciate it I really do. I know it could always be worse. Maybe that is my fear, that it will be worse. I am just crossing my fingers that no one dies next month. So January, please be nice to me. I have always been fond of you.
I will try to blog about my past year later...if I remember!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Again
I always think of things to blog about but then when I sit down I forget. I think old age has hit me. Then again it could be that I try to fit a whole buffet on my saucer size plate and I just can't keep it all in my head.
I own 5 calendars. One on my desk at work, one on the computer at work, one I carry in my purse, another I carry in my bag, then another on my phone and actually 3 on the walls in the room I am sitting...wait that is 9? The one on my phone is attached to the one in my computer. I am a scheduler but not a great one.
In fact, I should be doing 2 assignments, applying for jobs because they say I have too, even though I am employed. I never hear back from any of these jobs anyway. And I suppose I do try, because I cannot do much half assed.
Time is wasting and so is the day...
I own 5 calendars. One on my desk at work, one on the computer at work, one I carry in my purse, another I carry in my bag, then another on my phone and actually 3 on the walls in the room I am sitting...wait that is 9? The one on my phone is attached to the one in my computer. I am a scheduler but not a great one.
In fact, I should be doing 2 assignments, applying for jobs because they say I have too, even though I am employed. I never hear back from any of these jobs anyway. And I suppose I do try, because I cannot do much half assed.
Time is wasting and so is the day...
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I can't believe people sometimes...
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/politics/2010058492_referendum7114m.html
This story irritates me. People playing God, thinking they should impose their beliefs on others.
Last week I kind of "got into it" with a family member over gay rights. He kept quoting the bible as the all knowing source but he had no idea what it means. He said I was not doing what God wants me to by correcting anyone's unbiblical behavior before me. Seriously? When did God make me apart of his police department? I think religion is great for those who need it. Some of us know right and wrong without having a bible hit us to correct what we may or may not do. I attribute that to my parents, not being in church every Sunday for 30 years. Maybe this is why I have denounced organized religion in my older years. I have sat in church too many times to see people act one way, only to leave and go on the next week to act a total other way. Now I am not saying everyone that goes to church is like this. You know who you are. There are some wonderful, but few, people in churches, but the majority doesn't make it worth my while to sit there. The good Christians know what I am talking about too. We all know how guilty of sin each one of us is. Why these men decide they know what is best for the rest of us, I have no idea.
In that article it says the one man was divorced twice...so he already broke his vows. Doesn't matter the reason. He broke his sacrament of marriage. Who is he to fight for or against others to have the same sacrament? Liars. As soon as the state/government started issuing marriage certificates it no longer became a church/bible/God issue. The truly religious will denounce being married by the government in that case. Or maybe the government should just change the name of marriage to partnership, for everyone. I would rather have a partnership with my husband than a marriage.
Well this is just part one because I have more to say but have ran out of time...
This story irritates me. People playing God, thinking they should impose their beliefs on others.
Last week I kind of "got into it" with a family member over gay rights. He kept quoting the bible as the all knowing source but he had no idea what it means. He said I was not doing what God wants me to by correcting anyone's unbiblical behavior before me. Seriously? When did God make me apart of his police department? I think religion is great for those who need it. Some of us know right and wrong without having a bible hit us to correct what we may or may not do. I attribute that to my parents, not being in church every Sunday for 30 years. Maybe this is why I have denounced organized religion in my older years. I have sat in church too many times to see people act one way, only to leave and go on the next week to act a total other way. Now I am not saying everyone that goes to church is like this. You know who you are. There are some wonderful, but few, people in churches, but the majority doesn't make it worth my while to sit there. The good Christians know what I am talking about too. We all know how guilty of sin each one of us is. Why these men decide they know what is best for the rest of us, I have no idea.
In that article it says the one man was divorced twice...so he already broke his vows. Doesn't matter the reason. He broke his sacrament of marriage. Who is he to fight for or against others to have the same sacrament? Liars. As soon as the state/government started issuing marriage certificates it no longer became a church/bible/God issue. The truly religious will denounce being married by the government in that case. Or maybe the government should just change the name of marriage to partnership, for everyone. I would rather have a partnership with my husband than a marriage.
Well this is just part one because I have more to say but have ran out of time...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Well well well...
I keep forgetting I have a blog. Sometimes when I am in the car or laying in bed awake, too early to get up I think about blogs I should write. Then I get up or get where I am going and forget, or just run out of time to do it. Even as I type now I have a 2 year old getting his Spongebob plate from the dishwasher and saying "Bob eat". Time to make a pancake even though its 6:29 am and hes NEVER up this early.
Now he is happy with his pancake and Bob plate. I am so happy he wants to eat I drop everything to feed him when hes hungry. Hes doing better at least from where hes been. Hes becoming more like a 2 year old and less like a one year old. Even though hes almost 2 and a half. He still has bowel issues and has to have medicine daily. They haven't wanted to figure out that problem yet and our next visit to Children's isnt for another month. Hope to push the issue more then now that his intestines are probably getting back to normal.
Kait needs to get up soon. Little miss student council has a meeting this morning. Shes quite the social child.
Taylor is quite the opposite. Hes happier being in his room or with select friends.
Their dad has given me grief lately. He thinks the world revolves around him. His dad was the same way when it came to his other kids. They should take the time to visit him or put him first. Why, when he doesn't do that for them? Hes never been a hands on dad. He expects them to be so happy to hear from him when he never takes the time to pay any attention to them. They call and he doesn't answer. I got them their own phones so he can call each of them whenever he wants. But yet he still finds ways to make it my fault. But I am used to that. I am not happy when he outright blames them. He makes me so mad at his attitude towards his kids. How can a parent be like that? I would move mountains for my children. I don't understand him. How his poor drunk wife is so much more important. He drops everything for his parents but hes never been there for his kids so they will never be the same towards him. Anyway before that makes me more angry.
School is keeping me busy, on top of everything else. Sometimes I cannot keep up. Or I feel that way. I do get overwhelmed. I wish I didn't. I wish I handled things better. I get too much into my own head and start to lose it a little. Always being on the go doesn't help. I need a vacation in my own home. Heh.
Well since I really don't have time to blog, I am taking time away from dressing and getting ready for work. The weather is turning bad, its going to be a long winter!
Now he is happy with his pancake and Bob plate. I am so happy he wants to eat I drop everything to feed him when hes hungry. Hes doing better at least from where hes been. Hes becoming more like a 2 year old and less like a one year old. Even though hes almost 2 and a half. He still has bowel issues and has to have medicine daily. They haven't wanted to figure out that problem yet and our next visit to Children's isnt for another month. Hope to push the issue more then now that his intestines are probably getting back to normal.
Kait needs to get up soon. Little miss student council has a meeting this morning. Shes quite the social child.
Taylor is quite the opposite. Hes happier being in his room or with select friends.
Their dad has given me grief lately. He thinks the world revolves around him. His dad was the same way when it came to his other kids. They should take the time to visit him or put him first. Why, when he doesn't do that for them? Hes never been a hands on dad. He expects them to be so happy to hear from him when he never takes the time to pay any attention to them. They call and he doesn't answer. I got them their own phones so he can call each of them whenever he wants. But yet he still finds ways to make it my fault. But I am used to that. I am not happy when he outright blames them. He makes me so mad at his attitude towards his kids. How can a parent be like that? I would move mountains for my children. I don't understand him. How his poor drunk wife is so much more important. He drops everything for his parents but hes never been there for his kids so they will never be the same towards him. Anyway before that makes me more angry.
School is keeping me busy, on top of everything else. Sometimes I cannot keep up. Or I feel that way. I do get overwhelmed. I wish I didn't. I wish I handled things better. I get too much into my own head and start to lose it a little. Always being on the go doesn't help. I need a vacation in my own home. Heh.
Well since I really don't have time to blog, I am taking time away from dressing and getting ready for work. The weather is turning bad, its going to be a long winter!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Quick Update
I will have to go in more detail later but he spent a day (July 9 - 10) in the hospital with a tube into his tummy getting him cleaned out finally. Now hes still on daily laxative to keep it from getting blocked again. No potty training for a long while though. Hopefully he will stay clean. Not sure when we will find out why he has this problem.
Part 2 update he had an MRI this week because his head is not growing. (along with the rest of him) Scary because they had to sedate him, put him under using the same stuff Michael Jackson used before he died. The MRI came back fine and clean. Which is really good because it rules out a whole lotta bad. Now he will go back for a follow up growth evaluation in a couple months.
Anyway between school and work I am totally swamped. Hopefully I can catch up soon!
Part 2 update he had an MRI this week because his head is not growing. (along with the rest of him) Scary because they had to sedate him, put him under using the same stuff Michael Jackson used before he died. The MRI came back fine and clean. Which is really good because it rules out a whole lotta bad. Now he will go back for a follow up growth evaluation in a couple months.
Anyway between school and work I am totally swamped. Hopefully I can catch up soon!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
My son is full of shit...
Literally. Xray proves it. Again. *sigh*
Now we have seen a specialist in neurodevelopment, another nutritionist and a feeding specialist. Really how many nutritionists can give us advice. We know. But he will only eat what he wants.
He's been waking up screaming. Hes been having screaming fits occasionally during the day. Another call to the doctor who seemed concerned but couldn't fit him in. So we see another available doctor. Diagnosis...Doctor: your son is having night terrors and throwing tantrums. Me: Really? No not him. Hes in pain, trust me I am his mom. I know his pain cry, his mad cry, his scared cry. Doctor: No really its normal for kids to have night terrors at (barely) 2 years old. And maybe he has some small bug that is making him fussy. WTFE... Leave frustrated.
Happens again. During the day. Not sleeping. Wide awake. I even record it with the camera. Screams for an hour. Home alone with him. I put him in the car, screaming all the way 3 miles to urgent care. (No way will I get a hold of the regular clinic at 4pm on a Friday) Nice Nurse we saw before: Did they test him for Crohons? Me: Nope they blew that off before I finished my sentence. Her: really? Me: Yep. Last told hes having night terrors. Her: NO way. Kids that age don't normally have night terrors without some kind of trauma. You should take him to Children's. I will write up that he needs a full work up on Crohons and stomach issues.
One hour later at Children's ER. He's stopped screaming, thankfully but yet I wonder if they will believe me. He has a slight fever. They take us back. Nurse comes in asks basic run down...the doctor came in. I proceeded to tell her about the last visit and how upset I am that I was just told it was night terrors. She let me finish then said...well I am going to have to agree with that doctor. Me: what? Doctor: well it is normal. Crohons would be more far fetched. Me: Um, I hate to disagree but well I do. Hes not having night anything. Hes not having tantrums. Doctor: Well he is 2 now, tantrums are normal. Me: not for him, hes a mild, mellow child. He does NOT have tantrums. Nurse came in to take us to xray. Doctor: we'll talk more when hes back from xray.
Waiting, waited, waits...finally doctor comes back in. Sits down quietly and... Doctor: Well I am not sure what his xray looked like 2 months ago when he was here but hes still very constipated and has large amounts of stool in his intestines. Xray shows "Large Intestine Fecal Burden" Me: speechless. Doctor: it does take time for it to all come out. He is probably having pain. Me: Yeah I KNEW it wasnt night terrors. Doctor: well we could do something they call poop dynomite but we don't recommend it. You should keep things going as you are and it will clear up eventually, like in a year. Me: so what he is pooping now is poop from 6 months ago. Doctor: well yeah it would seem that way. Me: what else can we give him for pain. Doctor: well nothing, you can add maalox 1 tsp five times a day. Me: 5 times a day? Doctor: Yes. Other than that you just wait. Have a nice weekend.
Now...I was so shocked that he was STILL that constipated I couldn't even pull my thoughts together after sitting in the room alone with him for 3 hours. I leave, kind of in shock but thankfully my friends and Brandon (who was at work) helped me cope with the questions in my head.
Our struggle now is the pain he goes through AND his decreasing desire to eat much of anything. Even the things he previously loved. His lack of appetite scares us. How long can he waste away? He may weight 21 lbs now but at least 3 lbs is probably poop.
I had a call from the hospital asking how hes doing. Of course I said um the same still constipated. I did ask about doing frequent xrays to check on progress. She agreed. I asked what else can be done and she explained a procedure. They put a fluid, same fluid that they use for colonoscopy's directly into his stomach. This gets things soft and moving. I need to discuss this with his doctor. Just not sure if I can get through and actually see her. Also plan to bring this up with the neurodevelopmental specialist. This is why.
Obviously hes failing to thrive. Hes not absorbing nutrition. Hes barely eating. This is probably because his stomach/intestines are full of crap. Possibly pushing on his stomach. Think pregnancy. When you're pregnant the baby pushes on your stomach, and everything else. This could be happening to him? This could be causing a lack of appetite. He doesn't want to eat because hes associating it with pain later. Until this is fixed we cannot find out what caused it to become so bad.
I guess we need answers. And a parent knows their kid. Why won't people believe us?
Now we have seen a specialist in neurodevelopment, another nutritionist and a feeding specialist. Really how many nutritionists can give us advice. We know. But he will only eat what he wants.
He's been waking up screaming. Hes been having screaming fits occasionally during the day. Another call to the doctor who seemed concerned but couldn't fit him in. So we see another available doctor. Diagnosis...Doctor: your son is having night terrors and throwing tantrums. Me: Really? No not him. Hes in pain, trust me I am his mom. I know his pain cry, his mad cry, his scared cry. Doctor: No really its normal for kids to have night terrors at (barely) 2 years old. And maybe he has some small bug that is making him fussy. WTFE... Leave frustrated.
Happens again. During the day. Not sleeping. Wide awake. I even record it with the camera. Screams for an hour. Home alone with him. I put him in the car, screaming all the way 3 miles to urgent care. (No way will I get a hold of the regular clinic at 4pm on a Friday) Nice Nurse we saw before: Did they test him for Crohons? Me: Nope they blew that off before I finished my sentence. Her: really? Me: Yep. Last told hes having night terrors. Her: NO way. Kids that age don't normally have night terrors without some kind of trauma. You should take him to Children's. I will write up that he needs a full work up on Crohons and stomach issues.
One hour later at Children's ER. He's stopped screaming, thankfully but yet I wonder if they will believe me. He has a slight fever. They take us back. Nurse comes in asks basic run down...the doctor came in. I proceeded to tell her about the last visit and how upset I am that I was just told it was night terrors. She let me finish then said...well I am going to have to agree with that doctor. Me: what? Doctor: well it is normal. Crohons would be more far fetched. Me: Um, I hate to disagree but well I do. Hes not having night anything. Hes not having tantrums. Doctor: Well he is 2 now, tantrums are normal. Me: not for him, hes a mild, mellow child. He does NOT have tantrums. Nurse came in to take us to xray. Doctor: we'll talk more when hes back from xray.
Waiting, waited, waits...finally doctor comes back in. Sits down quietly and... Doctor: Well I am not sure what his xray looked like 2 months ago when he was here but hes still very constipated and has large amounts of stool in his intestines. Xray shows "Large Intestine Fecal Burden" Me: speechless. Doctor: it does take time for it to all come out. He is probably having pain. Me: Yeah I KNEW it wasnt night terrors. Doctor: well we could do something they call poop dynomite but we don't recommend it. You should keep things going as you are and it will clear up eventually, like in a year. Me: so what he is pooping now is poop from 6 months ago. Doctor: well yeah it would seem that way. Me: what else can we give him for pain. Doctor: well nothing, you can add maalox 1 tsp five times a day. Me: 5 times a day? Doctor: Yes. Other than that you just wait. Have a nice weekend.
Now...I was so shocked that he was STILL that constipated I couldn't even pull my thoughts together after sitting in the room alone with him for 3 hours. I leave, kind of in shock but thankfully my friends and Brandon (who was at work) helped me cope with the questions in my head.
Our struggle now is the pain he goes through AND his decreasing desire to eat much of anything. Even the things he previously loved. His lack of appetite scares us. How long can he waste away? He may weight 21 lbs now but at least 3 lbs is probably poop.
I had a call from the hospital asking how hes doing. Of course I said um the same still constipated. I did ask about doing frequent xrays to check on progress. She agreed. I asked what else can be done and she explained a procedure. They put a fluid, same fluid that they use for colonoscopy's directly into his stomach. This gets things soft and moving. I need to discuss this with his doctor. Just not sure if I can get through and actually see her. Also plan to bring this up with the neurodevelopmental specialist. This is why.
Obviously hes failing to thrive. Hes not absorbing nutrition. Hes barely eating. This is probably because his stomach/intestines are full of crap. Possibly pushing on his stomach. Think pregnancy. When you're pregnant the baby pushes on your stomach, and everything else. This could be happening to him? This could be causing a lack of appetite. He doesn't want to eat because hes associating it with pain later. Until this is fixed we cannot find out what caused it to become so bad.
I guess we need answers. And a parent knows their kid. Why won't people believe us?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)