Its so hard to explain to people that do not have kids how as a mom you must sacrifice everything to give to others. Most of the time this does not stop with our own kids but spills out to everyone else. I always feel I must take care of everyone. Do what is best for someone else rather than take care of myself. But sometimes we need a wake up call to realize that maybe the stress of others demands takes a toll on your health.
I recently started having some minor female issues. Well, the last year. I guess there isn't anything major wrong with me...yet. But it was brought to my attention I am wavering on the borderline of diabetes. This is not a real shock to me. It runs rampant in my family. My grandfather had it, probably his parents as well. My mother has had it, as well as her siblings. My cousin has it. But I can fight it. Do I have the will and drive too? I have cut out a lot of sugar since finding this out. I think twice before having something sugary. I eat more fruit and veggies. Less carbs.
As the new year, well the last few new years, started I vowed to get healthy. I seem to always fail at this. Something more gets added to my plate. I love my family and taking care of them is my drive and focus in life. But I need to be healthy for them, so I can continue taking care of them. Of course other than a few dietary habits I haven't exercised except maybe once. I haven't been more active at all. Its very frustrating because I wear myself out and have no energy, I have no time.
Between 3 children, work, school and the man I love there isn't much daylight left to exercise. And when it looks like I might have a little time I feel guilty for not folding the laundry, or putting away dishes, or playing hot wheels with my toddler, or taking my 16 year old out to practice driving, or teaching my 10 year old daughter to sew or play a game with her. I feel like life is rushing by me and I can give them a good life or take care of me. I am not sure how to do both. Maybe people might think I am overweight because I am lazy. It's not really the case. I wish I had more time in the day, or more energy to feel motivated to get on the treadmill.
I see celebrities on TV and wherever else they are talking about how they are in the best shape ever. I really think it doesn't represent the real woman. I don't have assistants or personal trainers, or nannys. I cook dinners, help with homework, run errands, nurse kids back to health, work, take online classes so I can get a better job one day to pay for their college. I guess I am just frustrated with life and the lack of time and energy. Not anyone's fault...just my own. But I don't really regret it because I love my family more than anything. Just maybe one day I can find a way to manage time, or create an extra day in the week to do it all.
Just another day as supermom.
