My thoughts on Ref-74

Why all the hate? As a “Christian” I am really embarrassed at the actions and words of people I once respected. I thought God taught us unconditional love? I thought God wanted us to respect each other? I admit I get angry at those that spout hurtful, hateful venom about how they think being gay is wrong or against God. How they will “pray” for these people. Here is what I have to say…pray for yourself. Pray that the hate be lifted from your heart like God would want it to be. Gluttony is also a sin but people are furious when someone wants to take their Big Mac away and ban McDonalds. Who among you can say you are without sin? Who gave you the right to judge what sin is better or worse than another? I am confused when being Christian gave people some entitlement. I thought being Christian meant to be humble, not proud? You are not better than another because you attend a big fancy church with surround sound and a big screen. I can’t imagine that makes you top of the list going to heaven. Jesus led a simple life, how does this represent him? To address the silliness of how R-74 will hurt families, it can’t be any worse than what heterosexuals have been doing to marriage for more than 100 years. If you believe that R-74 is wrong, you should believe that divorce is wrong, cheating on your spouse is wrong. We should abolish divorce to protect families. We should make cheating a criminal offense. If you are cheating or cheating with someone who is married, no matter what the case you should be charged with violation of marriage vows. I wonder how many would vote yes for that? How many of you would be guilty? Children need parents that love them and take care of them. I have seen many more dysfunctional hetro families than I have dysfunctional gay couples. If you think allowing Ref-74 to pass will somehow threaten your marriage, then your marriage has bigger issues than you will admit. We should take a lesson from gay couples, they love each other despite what people say or believe. Despite what obstacles that society puts in front of them. They stand up for their right to be a family unit. Who are we to stand in their way?

Flashback

Flashback...a friend posted a link to archived posts that were on a June 2007 babies forum. Knowing what I know now this is just so weird to read my concerns on health issues that happened at just 3 weeks old. Excerpts:

_________________________ Spit up through the nose???

07-08-2007 09:49 AM

Last night after a 2+ hour nap Graydon got up to eat. I went to change him before feeding him and he was crying a little then suddenly he gagged/coughed and formula came out his nose. Then it almost seemed like he wasnt breathing almost choking and I turned him over and he started crying and arching his back. He hadnt eaten in about 3 hours so the spit up seemed odd. He rarely spits up anyway and usually doesnt cry or get tummy aches.

I called the after hours dr on call and was told it was probably acid refulx. He said if it keeps happening to go see my dr and she can give him zantac. He also said it runs in the family which would make since I guess because his dad has the same problem with acid reflux.

The gagging scared me and the spit up through the nose I have never seen before. My oldest DS had colic really bad and would projectile vomit/spit up and it never was through his nose. DD didnt spit up much either. Anyone else have that happen?

TIA Lisa Graydon 6/14


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No Poo? 07-11-2007 03:49 PM

How long should a 4 week go without a BM? We just noticed today (comparing notes) that its been over 24 hours since the baby has poo'd. Hes had normal wet diapers but no messy ones. He thought I was getting those to change and I thought he was. The baby has been fussier than normal but slept really good last night, about 6 hours. It's been warmer here than normal but not too bad.

Should I call the doctor? Or wait a bit longer?

Re: No Poo?

Yeah I will probably call in the morning if he doesn't go at all tonight. We were just trying to figure out how long its been, we figure maybe 36 hours.

I am kind of worried because he is crying more than normal which is usually not at all or very little.

Thanks for your help!

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All I can say is wow. I knew it happened early on but to see it with dates is just proof that a mom knows when something isn't right.

I just don't know...

It's really hard to talk about sometimes. I wonder if there isn't more I should be doing? I have finally had to admit (to myself) that G is not going to be ready for mainstream school next fall. Not only is he super small, he just doesn't understand things other kids do. I am so tired of fighting teachers and doctors who's response is mostly "he'll be fine". You really cannot expect my child to wash his hands and get in a line without a reminder. He can't color or write his name. He doesn't even want to try because his little flexible hands can't maneuver pens and such. Then there is the whole can't smell issue...how do we cope with this? How do we teach him that other people can smell things and he never will? How do we teach other people that he has no idea what a flower smells like, or home made cookies? How did he bond to us as an infant without smelling? Did it happen later? Was he 1 or 2? Did he fall and hit his head to cause this? Was he born that way? It's really hard not to just cry for him. How can I fix this? I am trying so hard to be strong and fix everything that comes up to make life normal for him but how can I make this better? Could be worse, it can always be worse. What if there is a fire? He can't smell the smoke. Maybe we should avoid a home with gas in it, he could never spot a gas leak. How as a mom can I make this better?

He got sick over the weekend. Not sick sick just noticed he lost his appetite, well what he has of one. He went almost 24 hours without urinating. After a trip to urgent care and a rash and ER visit later we have nothing. I am hoping it was indeed nothing. Still can't get him to eat much. Do I sit on him just to shove a few bites of turkey in his mouth? I hate when people judge that you are a horrible parent based on what you feed your kid. I find it awesome you can get your kid to eat some tofu and organic juice. Mine won't even drink juice or eat vegetables. Of course now knowing he has anosmia and can't smell anything makes more sense as to why he won't eat things that are pretty normal for even a picky child. But again, how do I fix this? This could be another reason for FTT but why? Why? I just want some answers. I just want a reason. Something to point us in the right direction, a reason that will allow him some extra attention in school. I worry now even more. But I am just happy that he is such an awesome kid. Even when he should be feeling pain and discomfort he will smile and appreciate the music in his heart. I just want to make things easier for him. Just not sure how...

What percent am I?

If this is the 99% I wonder what percent I fall into? I am certain a lot of these global hipsters make more money than I do. Maybe it means 99% are laughing at them? I don't think I am by any means super smart. I don't think corporate American is evil. I am sure there are lots of companies out there, big and small, that are corrupt in some way. But things I heard today that really made me laugh and people, know what you're protesting if you expect the rest of us to take you seriously. I just see you now as jumping on the new trendy bandwagon trying to be accepted by your peers. I guess I have never been accepted so its not something I feel the need to do.

Couple humorous (to me) things heard from interviews of people at "Occupy Seattle". Pt. 1 Interviewer: why are you here today? Lady: to be heard as one of the 99% fighting against democracy and wanting to get changes made in our government. Interviewer: What do you do for a living? Lady: I am unemployed. Interviewer: who is your local congressman? Lady: Oh I have no idea.

Pt 2. Interviewer: So why are you here today? Guy: I am against the horrors of corporate America and what it stands for, something needs to be done about corporations. Interviewer: What is that you are holding. Guy: Starbucks. Oh but I didn't buy it.

It's great to want to fight for something you believe in, but maybe believe in what you're fighting for. Or at least have an idea what the words that are coming from your mouth mean. If you are against how horrible corporate America is then don't protest it while holding a Starbucks and iPhone. Or know your government representatives. Just a thought.

Medical Staff: please don't play telephone, it's a horrible game.

At my wits end with medical people. Please, please listen to the parents. At least acknowledge that we know our children. After all we do live with them. I am so frustrated with no explanations...just do this and call us later. Really? Yeah, ok and I should trust you why?

I don't know what to do but I regret this facility and the decision to come here.

They are so focused on the constipation and not WHAT is making him constipated. I feel like no matter what I say/explain or otherwise they think this is a new problem and ugh, whatever. I thought of writing a letter to them since the person in charge keeps sending messages through other nurses.

Dear ARNP,

We came to your facility looking for answers to a life long problem our child has. Since birth he has been constipated. After 2 years of making appointments, visiting various urgent care clinics multiple, more than 15 different times in less than 2 years asking what is wrong only to get blown off, they did an x-ray in the middle of the night at an ER. At all these doctor visits, pediatric specialists, urgent care doctors and nurses they all felt his stomach and told us there is no way he was constipated. We just worried too much, or thinking about it too much. Well finally we had an x-ray that said we were right ALL along and oh yeah we don't know what to do cause its so bad. So after an ambulance ride to Children's we were given instructions for oral clean out since an enema would rip his intestines apart. After a month or so of this to no avail and he was suffering stomach pain and vomiting we went to the ER again. This time I was blown off stating he is simply 2 and having tantrums. Tantrums from a dead sleep? He does not, or did not ever have tantrums. I know my child. After telling this doctor I don't accept her answer she conceded to do another x-ray to prove that he is all better from the oral clean out. She ate her words and was apologetic when she saw how impacted he was. Thankfully the wonderful Neurodevelopmental staff stepped in and rescued him by having him admitted for a clean-out through the stomach. 24 hours of intense clean out and the x-ray after showed he was finally cleaned. We were instructed to give him Mirilax every day and told from now on he will be fine.

That was 2 years ago. He still is not fine.

Our visit to you was because he isn't getting better and a teacher at his school spoke highly of the department. We were hoping for answers. We were shocked to find out he is still highly impacted. For a child that eats hardly anything, just enough to survive this cannot be good. We totally understand and complied with your instructions. After numourous back and forth calls with your people and a second xray 2 weeks later we are still almost where we were. If you have a plan it would be nice to know that. How long can he go with poop that runs like urine? When I brought up to your people that he is barely eating you say its because hes constipated...but when I say he ate more before we started this treatment I am treated like I don't know my own child. When I say he wont drink something, I am not saying that just to hear myself talk. When I say that its liquid and there is nothing solid left, please hear me. I know my child. And whey your people say that you will be able to "feel his abdomen" to see if he is still constipated I have 20 other people that said that too in his first 2 years of life. Good luck with that. I just want answers or at least someone to throw out some things, do some more tests. This has now gone on for 4 years, it is not a new issue. Please hear me when I tell you this. I haven't gone to medical school but one thing I do know, is that I KNOW MY CHILD.

Listen to parents.

Sincerely,
Me

Summing it up.

I stole this from a post on Facebook and modified it a little bit.

I am the child that looks healthy and fine,I was born with ten fingers and ten toes and a cute button nose! But something is different with me,and nobody really knows what this could be, and it isn't always easy for people to see. I am the child who struggles with words when I talk, who sometimes gets out of breath and in pain when I walk. (and then I begin to cough)

I'm not lazy, I'd do more if I could and I try with all my might to be like everyone else! I am the child who dreads sudden noise,it hurts my ears....making me cry and along come the tears.

I am not having tantrums but my stomach hurts really bad, that makes my family really really sad.

I am the child who tantrums and freaks,over things that seem petty and trite,lost in my own anger and fright. Perhaps there's a reason I'm made this way...some message I'm sent to share...For I am a child who needs to be loved and not misunderstood.I am different...but I just look like you.

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All children have special needs, some are just different than others.

Labels are for underwear, not for children.

New Doctor, Same Issue

We found a new specialist and of course jumped through all the hoops to get the referral and make a new appointment. Of course weeks in advance we asked for records to be sent to the new facility so that the specialist can take a look and we won't have to repeat 4 years of medical history by memory in 10-20 minutes. Then ironically while we were speaking with the specialist the other hospital called to ask questions on where to send the referred information...really? Ugh! Thankfully they faxed a good portion, just as we were leaving. Not that it helped now but hopefully at his follow up appointment it will.

She took another x-ray of his abdomen to check to see if he had any constipation still. We figured maybe a little but since he takes medicine daily he should be fairly good. Well, I was wrong.



He has 5.5 cm of poo lodged in his rectum. It was all I could do not to cry. She decided that we needed to do an enema ASAP (at home) and gave us more instructions, and medicine lists to give him in the next few weeks so we can follow up with her in a month to see if hes any more "cleaned out".

The enema, milk and molasses. Not just for cookies. It scared me to do this but we did it. Thanks to wonderful daddy support. I could not have done that on my own. I swear this kid will need therapy one day. "When I was 4 I remember my parent's holding me down and shoving something warm and sticky up my bum that smelled like cookies." So wrong. Picking up more meds soon and hopefully he will not turn into a runny mess of poo in the next few weeks, but then again better than a stuffinyourrectum mess of poo that he has been suffering with for well, his whole life. No thanks to the many doctors at VMC that refused to listen to us, and finally one at the ER that did. Anyhow, he was rewarded with some KFC and a cheese stick. We promised to play rock band with him tonight as well. Poor kid, but it could be worse right?